Saturday Afternoon

My feet are tired, I have been wandering for a long time. A few years here, a couple more there, I have never seemed to find home. I sit down now reclined in this soft chair and run my fingers down its armrest as the music echos in the background. My senses are awakened as the aroma of freshly ground coffee escapes behind the counter and out the open door into the busy street, where the palm fronds wave back to me. Some people find beauty in music, some in perfectly painted landscapes, others in well constructed words, but me I find it in people. Not that I don't find beauty in all the above mentioned, cause I do. I just tend to agree with what lead me to spirituality. The desire to believe I was human and that by being human mattered.

Take Off

Take off, we rise. I slip my headphones in and I begin to drift away. The music begins to flow into my ears as my head nods in agreement to the words being sang. I smile when I think of You and how You loved me before I did anything, before I was. Not because of the way I make you feel, but because of who I am and who You are.

7 mile Sunday

The alarm goes off, I awake fatigued. The nights sleep was not sleep at all but a battle in the mind. Empty I awake, fullness is what I search for. I slip the shoes on, as each foot hits the pavement my mind wanders to ease the bodies pain. Where am I going? The path is familiar cause I have traveled it many times before. Sometimes with You sometimes without. Confused I think about last night and wonder what I gave up and what could have been. I have to keep running, faster, so I don't think about the past. As my feet stop moving you tap me on the arm and remind me why I am here, why I am doing what I do, and why I must continue on. Stay strong you say and I reply always.

Thankful

How I am thankful, so very thankful. For You have transformed me, you continually change me. You faithfully chip away hardened deposits of pain and remorse that surround this heart. Because of grace I am beginning to understand, I am able to forgive and be forgiven. You draw me closer to You, closer to understanding.

Are You Ready

Are you ready? Who defines you, who you are, how you feel, how you respond? Deep down lies a desire to be understood, to be known, to be significant. Where does this come from, are they just burning desires of the heart, or a simple confusion of the mind, or much more? Is there a clear cut path to understanding, or can these answers even be answered with knowledge alone? They are all around us, those who think these feelings should be filtered, sometimes suppressed or maybe even ignored. If this is done are you being true to yourself or are you just disregarding what you might not fully understand or want to understand? What is preventing you from searching for your identity, from finding your potential? Are you ready yet?

Day Dream

Sitting on the bench, body fatigued, mind wandering, the scene appears. You approach, noses so close they almost touch, time freezes, background blurs, its just you and me. But this is only for a moment a brief moment. Time has now resumed and we begin to drift apart. I reach out and you follow, our fingers try an meet but they never do. The world has pulled us apart it has called this separation to occur. Back to reality, I stare in the mirror and try to understand, will we meet again, will it last.

Communion

Drained I enter and sit down. It is not long before the words flow and meet me only where You can go, deep inside. I wait until everyone has gone to meet you at the table. I reach into the bowl and am drawn to the piece that is twisted, that is bent, that is not perfect. As I dip the piece it becomes covered, the imperfections can no longer be seen and I begin to be filled. The music starts and begins to flow through my veins which pumps out into my body to send me this feeling of euphoria I now write about. The Spirit has now taken control of my body and the words begin to flow out. The singing turns into a smile, a smile which has been long awaited.

Trust in Me

Do you trust in me? Have I not supplied you with the clothes that now cover your back. Have I not rescued you time and time again, when you laid ashamed with your head faced down towards the ground. So why now do you think I am not big enough? How easily you forget how big I really am, what I have taken you from and where I plan for you to go. Trust Me.

Why Can't I Let You Go

My hand reaches out but you are no longer there, my heart searches for its missing piece. Thoughts of hope run in my head, what I would give for one moment with you, for a day where our past was wiped clean where our hearts where let free, just you and me. Or am I just scared am I scared of knowing someone more then you, allowing someone to know more then you. Is it that I am scared to just let go.

The Way

Shutting my eyes the piano plays the background music in my mind. I walk the streets, but they have changed, the people are moving in all different directions. I continue in the same direction, the same path, but as I turn the page the next looks nothing like the last, which differs from the very first. Ever since I met You I was changed my life took on a direction. So tonight I am thankful, so very thankful for You.